As are millions of people around the world, I am a serious Oprah Winfrey fan. To me, she is a sincere, intelligent, high energy, self taught powerhouse of a woman whom I greatly admire. Recently, I watched a fabulous program on the OWN channel. It was Episode 7 of her Master Class series entitled "An Intimate Conversation with Oprah"; Part 1. This segment focused on the lessons Oprah learned along her way to becoming a "Media Icon".
In it, Oprah briefly describes a troubled childhood fraught with insecurity and estrangement from her mother. She shares her journey starting from a young girl of 4 through her young adult hood. Throughout the one hour segment, her focus, resiliency and fortitude was very much in evidence. There were things I had not known about her, which brought tears to my eyes. I particularly appreciated her comments towards the end of the segment. It seems that early in her television career, she was told by a producer that she needed to make some changes, starting with her name. She was also told that she needed plastic surgery; her eyes were too far apart, her nose too wide. Finally, it was suggested she drastically change her hair style. It was poignant to hear Oprah say that she had never felt as though she was a pretty girl, but she knew she was intelligent, and she knew she had great hair. Having no intention of changing her name, or her facial structure with plastic surgery, she opted to see a stylist who could change her hair. Just when Oprah was becoming highly visible and very well known in television, she began to lose her hair as a result of a bad perm given to her by the stylist.
To hear someone as famous and successful as Oprah Winfrey talk about how deeply her hair loss affected her, and her feelings of devastation at the loss of part of her identity resonated with me. When her hair began falling out, she was heartsick, saying to herself, "Now, I've only got my smarts". She made several comments about that difficult time of her life, the most compelling of which was her determination not to let others judge her by her appearance. She said to herself, "I am not my hair, I am not how wide my nose is, I am not how far apart my eyes are. The essence of who I am has nothing to do with what I look like." Profound words from someone who knows only too well how much appearance is valued.
I came away from that segment with a new-found respect for Oprah, as well as a feeling of thankfulness for her insight and wisdom. She is a brave and generous woman who has shown others by example the heights one can reach if they are determined and focused enough. She possessed an inner strength even as a child, and had the grace and positive attitude to remain true to who she was, regardless of the upheaval in her life. It was tremendously gratifying to hear a celebrity as famous as Oprah share something so very personal.
When I worked in the hair replacement field, I was asked several times if there are celebrities who have suffered from hair loss. My answer was always, "of course there are". Whether the hair loss is caused by heredity (Androgenetic Alopecia or Female Hereditary Thinning) , auto-immune conditions (Alopecia Areata) or medical treatments (Chemotherapy, etc), no one is 'exempt'. Hair loss can happen to anyone, man, woman or child. I only wish more celebrities would talk about their hair loss, and share with us what they have done to overcome the frustration and embarrassment. Would we feel any differently about a man or woman we admire if we knew they had lost their hair? Of course not. I believe we would feel even greater respect for what they have managed to achieve.
It is not your hair loss which defines you, it is how you handle the hair loss which defines the person you are, exemplified by the strength and determination you possess. Everyone has something about their appearance which bothers them. The healthiest among us are the people who focus on those things around them that they can change and improve, instead of focusing on the features and characteristics we possess that we cannot change.
We are, indeed, not our hair.
Linda Rieschel
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